Bbq Jokester Pillows

"Has anyone seen Derek?"

"Well-done coming right up."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

Onion operation.

'I'm going to bake you a sponge cake...where do we keep the sponges?'

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

'You can do whatever you want, Herb, but I sure wouldn't take advice from a bowl of alphabet soup!'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

"I like the metric system. My weight in kilograms is less than my weight in pounds."

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.

'I'm sorry, sir, but cheeseburgers are out of season.'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

'Waiter! There's no hair in my soup!'

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'It's actually cheaper than the bait shop.'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

"What's my laptop. Your old room is now the computer room."

Chez Homework

"This sub tastes much better with some traffic jam."

"Easy on the carbs, Carl."

"Bobby, you may have worked for a circus but that's not an excuse for playing with your food!"

"Why didn't you think of that before I put on the icing?"

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."