Bath Avoider Pillows

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

"Mummy said dinner was brussels sprouts tonight. What about we drop by the park and see if the old man sitting on the bench can feed us instead?"

"I prefer the mountains to the beach. I feel like less of a cow.''

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

Any requests for songs that aren't about fish? Jazz Butcher.

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Wow, look what you've stepped in: Boy I'm glad I'm not the one having to lick it off...

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.

Oil man gets oil for his car directly from oil well.

Tred carefully mill.

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

There's leftover apple crisp! Whoever finishes it up, please clean the baking dish. Hey! It's not finished!!

'Anything to get out of taking a bath.'

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

"I'm just going to stay in the car until all the bees die off."

Lawyers don't go to the beach, because cats try to bury them.

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'

Too posh to wash...

The pair of socks waited confidently in the corner, secure in the knowledge that no matter what happens, no one ever suspects the socks.

'That's the plan then, gang. We all move in with Bruno on bath nights!'

Escaped Fish

"We can't stay. Charles freaks out without some electronic device beeping or blinking at him."

'Nature makes me nervous!'

"There's slipping in the bath then there's slipping in the bath."

"I can skip my bath tonight. I put the windows down when Dad drove through the carwash."

'The sad thing is, Jonah's so afraid of the water now, he won't even take a bath.'

"You're in my laundry's favorite seat."

'Is there a machine that's not in front of mirrors? I know what I look like...that's why I am here.'

'Look on the bright side, we're surrounded by water: We're safe from cats...'

The new, improved "Hide-A-Dysfunction" Slip Cover