Bat Whisperer T-Shirts

'Well, the internal swing mechanism is shot. I can fix it, but it won't be cheap. If I were you, I'd just go back to the dugout and choose another bat.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Polly txt speak

Police Feline Unit

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Quick, start the car!"

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Biofelineism

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Dog Dreams

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

'You know too much!'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Children's Feast.

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"That is an outrageous slur."