Alien Whisperer T-Shirts

"You can stop straining. I read the message wrong. It's 'crop' circle...my bad sorry."

"Shoot it? Shoot it? I don't even know which end of the darn thing to aim at it!"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Dog Dreams

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

'You know too much!'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"That is an outrageous slur."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

'Can you play something the dog doesn't know?'

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'