Bat Mitzvah Gifts

"Hava Nagila" go-round.

"You think you're brave? I read Hebrew in front of a live audience."

Shmeuly's car turns 13.

"For my bat mitzvah, my dad is getting me incorporated."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

Vampire Umbrella

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

Bat

The Music Lover.

"Sorry I'm late -- I was checking my clock upside down."

"Something nocturnal."

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

'Step one inexploring a newly discovered cave- wade thru the bat guano.'

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

'He is not my pet...he is my son!'

'I know why Max has suddenly turned vegetarian: His new girlfriend is a Fruit-Bat...'

Imran Khan

'Sure, we host weddings, anniversaries and bar mitzvahs. On occasion, we even sell some wine.'

'And how often have you been to see Die Fledemaus?'

Joe's Bar: Sorry, closed to the public due to on-premises 'Bar Mitzvah'.

Cricket

I'm Going For A Job As A Coat Hangar.

'Tommy, stop throwing pencils into the floor or it's back to the principal's office!'

The short pitched ball, and how to handle it

Cricket.

"Let's just say I'm leaving to pursue other interests."

Snowboy becomes a Snowman.

Toast baseball.

"With symptoms like yours, you could be the next Batman!"