Baseball Psychic Pillows

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

The Giamatti era

"Uniformly accelerated motion"

Deregulated Baseball

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'

'The batter's crowding the plate. Try dusting him off at the knees. If that doesn't work, throw it high and inside. If he still won't back off, charge the plate and bite him.'

Baseball manager shows pitcher complicated charts.

'My next batter says this team doesn't pay him enough to lay down a sacrifice bunt. ... Could you pass this hat around?'

"Figured out who should bat cleanup yet, Skipper?"

"We've been standing here talking about how to pitch to the batter for way too long, haven't we?"

Shows Bundt

'Uh-oh. They're bringing in the closer to secure the win.'

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'

'According to his stats, this right-fielder hit .317 and is 50 in stocks, 30 in bonds and 20 in cash.'

'He looks great in the field, but can he bat?'

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

Bismark Ballet School

Expansion 2000: The Baton Rouge Ball Boys

Inside Baseballs

'Are you going to bowl or are you going to peek into the future?'

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

'He hits better against right handed pitching, so pitch left-handed, to him.'

'So much for the question of whether of whether or not a curveball really curves.'

'The pitcher calls a time out and walks toward the dugout. He's signaling the front office, and it looks like they're bringing out a new manager.'

'Get over it, Brady. Pitchers at this level are expected to get batters out. Randy there gave up eight runs in one inning...'