Sporty Psychic Pillows

'Are you going to bowl or are you going to peek into the future?'

Personal conker trainer.

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Uptight End"

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Psychic diving competition.

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

"I can't shake the feeling there's always someone looking over my shoulder."

"Oh, a resume is not necessary. I know all about you."

"Why are they being so mean to us?"

The most probable explanation to the mind of a sixteen year old tennis star

"Here comes the other team...that's their coach, strength train, game strategist and sports psychologist."

'What are you really running from?'

"My mother was overbearing and my father neglected me! Hut, hut!"

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

"Would you knowingly cheat to be better at something just to make millions of dollars? Well would you? Son? ... Son?"

Psychologist to patient: 'I'm afraid there's still not a lot we know about choking over 2-inch putts.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

"You like people and people respond to that."

"Sorry, I didn't realize you saw me in the stands booing you."

Olympic Doping

"What is it about an unfavorable soccer outcome that makes me want to wreak immediate havoc in the streets?"

"Our new five million pound striker seems to have developed a phobia about dark tunnels boss."

'At first I decided that Bob should sit out the rest of the game. He twisted his mind... but now I'm thinking - hey, maybe this is an opportunity.'

"Sometimes I think all this post game analysis has gone too far."

Ruff! Ruff!

'I just love reading your mind. No big words.'

"What can you tell me about my life?"

Victim support

"I'm not having trouble reading your mind, but the typos and grammatical errors are frustrating. . ."