Baseball Pitcher Gifts

"Should I practice my violin or my curve ball?"

They're brothers. One is very intelligent. The other is a baseball pitcher who constantly cheats. They both have a lot on the ball!

Galileo, Newton, Koufax

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"I AM at my usual position."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Perils of the double play.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

The Other Cooperstown

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Currently Boston

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"I thought it was a strike, Troy—but ask your mother."