Baseball Fanatics Pillows

'Swelling, Babcock, is our body's way of telling us that something's wrong. But if you insist on staying in the game, hey, it's your elbow.'

'Try throwing it underhand ... it can't be any worse.'

Vampire batting with bats hanging off of bat.

MLB Owners, Players, Fans

'Your salary will remain high, but management gets a share of any baseball card royalties.'

'I think maybe they should move opening day until it's warmer.'

"It must be a female!"

Burning the opposition.

A runner slides into home base safely by tunneling under a baseman's legs; the umpire rules that the runner is safe

'Talk to my lawyer.'

'Send help! I'm caught in a pickle between first and second!'

'Free food. Free place to sleep. And now we get to see a Cubs game - all comp! This is the freakin' life, Louie!'

"Dad, snap out of it. The postseason ended last week. The Red Sox lost."

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Perils of the double play.

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

"My wife wanted to see a diamond. So I took her to a ballgame."

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

No Baseball

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'OK, now let's switch places.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Vendor selling testosterone.

Sheltering in place.

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."