Baseball Fanatics Unite Pillows

Generational Smackdown

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

No Baseball

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

Sheltering in place.

Vendor selling testosterone.

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

Monster Baseball

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

I watched an erotic thriller last night. Have you heard of the film 'Field of Dreams'?

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

All Star Team.

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'Is that the look of love or the look of hearing a home run on your bluetooth?'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar. Again."

'He's not a skilled pitcher. In fact, he throws like a nerd...'

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

'Time out! He needs a hug!!'

'The nurse wanted you to pee in THIS type of cup.'