Baseball Comedy Fans Gifts

"Thats for missing the bunt sign!" "Yeah, and that's for striking out on ball four, you loser!"

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"That'll be five bucks."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"He says he's sure this isn't Wildwood. Did you put batteries in the GPS?"

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

Standard & Poor

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"Don't go in there!!"

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Yakety-Yak

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

The first case of resume padding.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'