Barman Gifts

Piano-Tuning Bar

'What do you mean you're out of ice?'

Caveman turning the wheel into a bar.

"Do you have any tooth-whitening vodka?"

'Better to have litigated and lost, than never to have litigated at all...'

"They say, 'The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one great thing.' Want to hear it?"

"I don't want stock options. I want you to pay your tab."

'Oi, you lot, I don't want any funny business.'

'Well, it was just a first draft.'

Landlord checking money, Customer checking ale

"Anyone here named Hippity?"

'Your glass is half full!'

'To enablers!'

'Look, I don't want any funny business.'

"Oh, God, now they'll all start."

'Once I get started I drink like a fish.'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Wanted: Solutions Integration Specialist, Must Be Able To Mix Drinks.

"Hey, pal, do you have any idea who I think I am?"

"You're cut out for this job."

"I keep climbing this water spout. The rain washes me out. Then out comes the sun and dries up the rain. So what do I do? I climb right back up again. Talk about a rut."

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

'To do this job effectively, you've got to be well educated I speak Heineken, Beck's, Guinness, Stella Artois, Tuborg,,,'

"The bloke buying you all the pints? That's Charlie, the local taxi driver..."

'Don't look now but I think we've wandered into a plie bar.'

'Do you have any denture friendly sandwiches?'

'Hair of the dog?' 'Yes, please. Lots of hairs from many dogs.'

"We don't serve minors."

The Devil's advocaat.

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

'I have this gut feeling that I should have another beer.'

Body by Jake

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'I am such a loser!' 'You're overreacting. Lots of people have never won the lottery.'

'That's one thing about him. He knows when to stop.'