Barking Big Bang Theorists Gifts

Big Bark Theory (canine version of the origin of the universe)

Bitchbark Canoe

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'Arf! Arf!'

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

Dog phrenology

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'Sure, he acts like he's into you now, but, trust me...he's only interested in one thing.'

"I yip, therefore I am."

Dog in therapy.

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

The Inner Dog.

I know they told me not to bark

One giant bark for dogkind.

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

"Say something like 'Bow-wow' or 'Arf-arf' and you'll really break them up."

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

Stephen Hawking: Pale Blue Dot

Select a song: Another Dog Barking. Lots of Other Dogs Barking. Howling. Siren. Doorbell. Dog Karaoke.

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

'No, no, no I said SIT'

'Why is it he never understands sit,stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

'...And the precise value of the Hubble constant is critical to the question of whether out universe will continue to expand forever, or...'

"Hang on a second! This nutcase is allowed on the furniture, but I'm not?!"

"Sorry to disturb you, Ma'am, but we've had some reports of a dog barking."