Bark-tastic Polka Fan Gifts

'He loves his polka bark-along.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

The Main Types of Cheese

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

Artist paints nude model with Etch-a-Sketch.

Louis Antoine Jullien

Dog barks at himself in a mirror.

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

Snowman in front of IRS wears barrel

"Muroski, I said we need a couple more POKER players..."

"No sir, we do not have beer here."

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

A cleaner in a cinema

'That's right kiddo, kings, queens, emperors, sultans and maharajas! I mingled with them all...'

'Trainspotters'

New Seekers, New Danger, "I'd like to teach the world to sing..."

"These high fiber popsicles is just a box of sticks!"

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

"He finds that incessant barking eases the shame of being man's best friend!"

"Tag. . . you're it!"

Snowman horror.

Dot hogs.

'What the heck ever happened to all the great polka bands.'

Learning the Polka

'Well, unfortunately, I don't really 'play' polo: My rider never lets me hit the ball...'

World series of Polka.

'Yoooo-hooo! Has anyone seen a ski pole that I dropped when I was on the chairlift?'

"Seniors again. Grabbed an armful of polka CDs and just waltzed right out."

"To be perfectly honest, Pete, I'm not sure it's Clear Channel that's holding us back."

Polka Dots

'Why pay big bucks for a DJ or band for our wedding reception, when Erwin here will play his favurite polka hits on his accordian for some beer?'

Rap Dancing Snake: 'Recently she only dances to Lawrence Welk's Polak Music.'

A note from Tessa Virtue - Scott, why don't we just tell the world we are married and get it over with