Bariatric Buddy Pillows

Weight and Fortune.

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"Not now, Oliver."

"I'm not napping yet, but I am getting ready to with a pre-nap warm up."

"He loves his computer but it's a love that's not returned."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"I think we have run out of time..."

Love conquers all, except plaque.

Man and dog on exercise bikes.

Coffee Menu

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

"That's very offensive."

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"My therapist plays with my brain."

Man with broken leg in cast.

'He followed me home! Can he hibernate here?'

'I don't mind him sleeping on our bed but why must he wear MY pyjamas?'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Turning off the thinking lightbulb at home time.

"Do you know what girls want?"

'Fred, we've been together too long!'

Polar bears throwing snowballs at each other.

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

"It's a deal: Two more years, then we let ourselves go."

"When did you start laughing at DOG jokes?"

"Fascinating!"

Brain Exercise Video: "Okay, think...and stop...and think, and stop! Stay with me now! Think harder! Feel that burn!"

"You had me at pumpkin."

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

"Had half of Fox-and-Friends gnawing my ass this morning."

The Icebreaker

"It's OK, girl. I get tired, too."