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'No Jean, hardly anyone stops to watch us operate the locks any more since Reg introduced his 'pay to view' system...'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Theorbo

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

US v.s. Tech Giants

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Have you no common scents?!'

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

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Some scents are nonsense.

May your Christmas be full of harmony

French horn.

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

Gerald Ratner's return

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

"Hendrickje, I feel another self-portrait coming on. Bring in the funny hats."

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

SupermarketAwful Market.

"Shall we put it in play?"

"Maybe we'd do better if we called ourselves 'baristas'."

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

"Try thinking like a different brand."

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

Our New Slogan: Make Money.

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

Turning 'Raw Hype' Into 'Pure Hype'