Bargains Gifts

'Forgive you?...sure I'll forgive you...the moment I see something I really want on the shopping channel.'

Black Friday

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

Bulk Food/ Stuff we swept off the floor.

"Of course they're weeds.What do you expect at these prices?..Roses?"

'The good news is, I got your Mum's cardigan.'

'Everything must go...manners included!'

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"

'...No, but I'll give you a discount.'

"How much is the sign?"

Knock Down - This Billboard only $495.

"John B.: Best Entertainment Value for under $1.79"

Excuses and Answers

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

Unusual Offers

'Sorry I was getting so many point vouchers I forgot the shopping.'

'Only $5, but it's stuck on full volume.'

'And this is a voucher for a free toaster. . . you know, once those are invented.'

'The Dockland Spirits came with the Jacuzzi.'

Donuts. 12 off.

Hire a lawyer - get one free! Limited time only.

"Buy the deluxe and I'll throw in the stick for free."

Soup of the day £2.50. Soup of last week 50p

"This is the problem with Stone Age newspapers...clipping coupons!"

"It's a sandwich you don't really want plus a drink you can't stand and a snack you're trying to give up."

Monster Sale.

'It was a once-in-a-lifetime offer!'

50% off 2008.

"And most of this one had one owner."

"It's cheap but where would you put it?"

"She only cost a pound Dad, and she's going to have puppies."

This movie cost $300 million and you're surprised by the price of popcorn?

Madame Yompe, Palm Reader...Special! Both palms read for the price of one.

'Buy 1 get 1 free. Buy 2, you're stupid.'

Waterfront Cafe,,,Exterminators eat free