Bargain Batter Gifts

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

Fries and kids

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

Unusual Offers

"You do have your own way of enjoying the garden, don't you?"

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

'George,why don't you break down and buy a fish finder?'

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

Seasonal shopping.

Gas Bill

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

buck stops here-taxes...mine

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'We don't have the money for everyone to go, and, well, our luggage has never been to the Bahamas before...'

I'm not overweight , I just have a heavy management infrastructure.

'...but what else am I supposed to do between 9 and 5 on a weekday?'

'So how have the cuts affected you?'

This week only: Justice 12 price!

"Good news! The White House has agreed to negotiate with us on that $400 mil in cuts!" "What do you have to give up next time... the other arm or a leg...?"

"To describe our budget shortfall as a 'Black Hole' is both simplistic and inaccurate."

" know a bargain when I see one!"

"This is my final offer: you get 18% and a kind word on Yelp."

'Never, Ever...assume anything is free when you visit a hospital.'

Window in the Outfield.

"If the board cuts our budget any more, I'm going to have to start stealing the kids' lunch money."

Social Services held back by risk, unrealistic targets and budget cuts.

'I don't CARE if they were marked down 35 percent. That set of drapes goes back to the store!'

"...And thanks to our new budget, class sizes are a low 40:1 ratio!"

'According to my calculations we need to sell the house to pay the heating bills.'

Credit card repayments are for life, not just for Christmas.