Barfly Scholar Gifts

'This could be another chapter for my book on easy pickups.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'Fried chickens.'

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"Catnip for everyone."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"Gimme a lite. Bug Lite."

"What would you like me to play next?"

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'