Barfly Detective Gifts

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Fried chickens.'

"Catnip for everyone."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

"What would you like me to play next?"

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

"Another Martoonie?"