Barfly Detective Gifts

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Fried chickens.'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"Catnip for everyone."

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

"What would you like me to play next?"

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

"Another Martoonie?"

A Sandbar piles of sand in a bar enjoying their night out