Barfly Observer T-Shirts

"All right, all right, have it your way, Mrs. McCourtney. He's sitting right here, guzzling booze with a couple of blondes."

"I don't mind the drunk and loud and obnoxious. It's the inevitable Motown medley that makes me cringe."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"An everything Martini, please."

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"Catnip for everyone."

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'Fried chickens.'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

Quiz Night...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"What would you like me to play next?"

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'