Barfly Hunter T-Shirts

'The one on the left is a beverage analyst for Huff & Swoon, and the one on the right is a drunk; or is it the other way around?'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'Fried chickens.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"Catnip for everyone."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...

"What would you like me to play next?"

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'