Birdie Hunter T-Shirts

'The pro said my swing was out of this world.'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"Two vegans, please."

Bird Torture.

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

Beaver tower

'You head south without me. I'll be fine.'

Trick or Tweet

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

Birds Following Witch.

'Honey, bring the camera, he's standing on one leg!!!'

'They're still following me?! Oh geez, what if they're in some sort of gang or something?'

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

Birds sitting on satellite dish.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'