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"Actually, in my younger days, I was really a Wildman."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'Fried chickens.'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"Catnip for everyone."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

Quiz Night...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

"What would you like me to play next?"

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."