Barfly Advocate T-Shirts

"If you need any advice on how to end up like me, I'm your man."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'Fried chickens.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

"Catnip for everyone."

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

Quiz Night...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"What would you like me to play next?"

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."