Barfly Advocate T-Shirts

"If you need any advice on how to end up like me, I'm your man."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

'Why can't you SHARE the hedge?'

'Fried chickens.'

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"Catnip for everyone."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...

"What would you like me to play next?"

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."