Barfly Conversationalist T-Shirts

"A lot of people say that absence is my best feature."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'Fried chickens.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"Catnip for everyone."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

Quiz Night...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

"What would you like me to play next?"

"Gimme a lite. Bug Lite."

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'