Barfly Banterer T-Shirts

"The reason I couldn't make it as a lawyer is I couldn't pass a bar."

"Yeah, our first album went vinyl."

"I consider myself a passionate man, but, of course, a lawyer first."

Guy over there wants to know if he can buy you a chaser.

'OK, I give up - how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?'

Thank you for not engaging in pointless debates.

"I've spent the last 6 months teaching myself escapology."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"Catnip for everyone."

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'Fried chickens.'

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...