Barfly Banter T-Shirts

'She didn't say yes and she didn't say no -- she said 'get out of here before I call a cop.''

"Lost a step? Hell, no. Those young zebras are juiced."

"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."

"My wife understands me."

Why must you have "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" on the jukebox? A lot of people complained that "Happy Hour" was too happy.

Your place or mine, or right here?

'Oh, yeah, I watch PBS all weekend long. That's pizza, beer and sports.'

'Yeah she's got a good figure, but her dress sense puts me off.'

"Hang on mate - are you off-duty..??"

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Catnip for everyone."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'Fried chickens.'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...