Barfly Buddy T-Shirts

"Another Martoonie?"

Virtual Babe

"To really get to know someone, you've got to divorce them."

'Everyone thinks I've flown south.'

'I don't like your face.'

The life of Vaughan Toulouse was blighted by puns.

The Adventures of Morton

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"Catnip for everyone."

'Fried chickens.'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."