Barfly Buddy Gifts

"Another Martoonie?"

Virtual Babe

"To really get to know someone, you've got to divorce them."

'Everyone thinks I've flown south.'

'I don't like your face.'

The life of Vaughan Toulouse was blighted by puns.

The Adventures of Morton

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

'Fried chickens.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"Catnip for everyone."

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

Quiz Night...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

If bar stools were like playground swings...