Barflies With A Twist Pillows

"Don't be impressed - he made it himself out of styrofoam."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

Wanna talk about it?

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

"AS a matter of fact, yes, you have told me you vacationed on Earth."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

"I'd love to stay and chat but I just heard a silent dog whistle."

"It's good to get hammered by something other than the economy."

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

'She's be great in the olympics. She can hang on a bar and chin for hours.'

"Here's my card. Give me a call if you ever need a barfly."

'I told you smokefree bars wouldn't be the end of it!'

Cocktail Franks

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

*My wife doesn't understand me...

Happy Hour

'Sister Agatha you're flirting with another bad habit,'

'No man is an island.' 'Try telling Ben Becula that.'

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

Bee Bar

"My grandfather dies from asbestos poisoning - it took 'em 3 weeks to cremate him...."

"Don't mind me, Riche – it's just the rabies talking."

"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."

101 uses of a dead cat: cigarette dispenser

Appy Hour

Detox meets Botox.

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

"I wasn't cable-ready."

"This martini in canonical."

"So far, the collapse of civilization hasn't particularly affected my life style."

"My one big fear is that I might get a jury of your peers."

"My wife understands me."