Barflies With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

"And so now I'm supposed to be the faithful companion who goes for help?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

Wanna talk about it?

"Gimme a lite. Bug Lite."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

"AS a matter of fact, yes, you have told me you vacationed on Earth."

"I'd love to stay and chat but I just heard a silent dog whistle."

'I'd feel better spending all my money here if you were a registered charity.'

"I consider myself a passionate man, but, of course, a lawyer first."

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

"So. Are you a mime, a puppeteer, or a ventriloquist?"

"It's good to get hammered by something other than the economy."

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

"It's O.K., I've got his car keys."

"I've spent the last 6 months teaching myself escapology."

'I told you smokefree bars wouldn't be the end of it!'

"Here's my card. Give me a call if you ever need a barfly."

Cocktail Franks

'Darling - look! I've dropped a gene size already.'

"My dad's a magician- he walks down the road and turns into a pub."

"What's so funny about two monkeys in a bar?"

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

'. . . Sorry guys, we've stopped serving - have you come far?'

"Anyone here a 'worthless, no-good drunken bum'?"

'Same old line - his smartphone doesn't understand him.'

Happy Hour

'Sister Agatha you're flirting with another bad habit,'

"Cut me off when I start to sway."

Thank you for not engaging in pointless debates.

'No man is an island.' 'Try telling Ben Becula that.'

*My wife doesn't understand me...