Barflies With A Twist T-Shirts

"Don't be impressed - he made it himself out of styrofoam."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Wanna talk about it?

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"AS a matter of fact, yes, you have told me you vacationed on Earth."

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

"I'd love to stay and chat but I just heard a silent dog whistle."

"It's good to get hammered by something other than the economy."

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"Here's my card. Give me a call if you ever need a barfly."

Cocktail Franks

'She's be great in the olympics. She can hang on a bar and chin for hours.'

'I told you smokefree bars wouldn't be the end of it!'

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

*My wife doesn't understand me...

Happy Hour

'Sister Agatha you're flirting with another bad habit,'

'No man is an island.' 'Try telling Ben Becula that.'

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

Bee Bar

"My grandfather dies from asbestos poisoning - it took 'em 3 weeks to cremate him...."

"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

"I wasn't cable-ready."

Appy Hour

"Don't mind me, Riche – it's just the rabies talking."

Detox meets Botox.

No shirt, no shoes, no service. No credit. No checks. No happy hour. No refills. No singing. No dancing. No talking. No kissing. No wagering. No arm-wrestling. No politics. No food. Enjoy! ! !

101 uses of a dead cat: cigarette dispenser

"This martini in canonical."

"My one big fear is that I might get a jury of your peers."

"So far, the collapse of civilization hasn't particularly affected my life style."