Barfly With A Twist Pillows

'The young lady at the end of the bar would like to buy you a haircut.'

"Get lost, pal! The lady’s already being bombarded with lame pick-up lines!"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"Try this...go to your contacts, select, slide left, delete."

Appy Hour

'Sister Agatha you're flirting with another bad habit,'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"Catnip for everyone."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

'Fried chickens.'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

Quiz Night...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'