Barfly With A Twist Mugs

'The young lady at the end of the bar would like to buy you a haircut.'

"Get lost, pal! The lady’s already being bombarded with lame pick-up lines!"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"Try this...go to your contacts, select, slide left, delete."

Appy Hour

'Sister Agatha you're flirting with another bad habit,'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"Catnip for everyone."

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

'Fried chickens.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

Quiz Night...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

If bar stools were like playground swings...