Barbed Wire Enthusiast T-Shirts

'What do you mean, I'm unapproachable?'

Support Oppression - Do Nothing

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hair Crop Circle

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

'He lost his whistle,'

Inappropriate horse whispering.

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

'Music hath charms,' &c.

Deer Barber

The Salivation army.

Over Zealous French Horn Player

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...

"I'm going to need even less tuba."

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

'It's her birthday!'

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

'It was still pitch black when I left for work: I picked my son's toy barrel instead of mine...'

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

Brass Band

"I'm not whining."

Man playing huge complicated brass instrument.

'I said it's our wedding day you idiot!'

Tuba

'Are you going to stay up all night making YouTuba videos?'