Barbed Wire Enthusiast Pillows

'What do you mean, I'm unapproachable?'

Support Oppression - Do Nothing

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hair Crop Circle

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

The Salivation army.

'Music hath charms,' &c.

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

Deer Barber

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

Inappropriate horse whispering.

'He lost his whistle,'

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...

Over Zealous French Horn Player

"I'm going to need even less tuba."

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

'It's her birthday!'

Brass Band

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

"I'm not whining."

'It was still pitch black when I left for work: I picked my son's toy barrel instead of mine...'

Man playing huge complicated brass instrument.

Tuba

'Are you going to stay up all night making YouTuba videos?'

A Heavy Metal Musician.

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.