Bar Tab Enthusiasts Pillows

"Mort, you owe $856 on your tab."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Ostrich Bar

"Do they look tired to you?"

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

"Blueprints for Irish theme pub" found at the end of a rainbow

"I'm not whining."

'If that's my wife, you're not in!...'

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

Weather bar