Bar Tab Enthusiasts Gifts

"Mort, you owe $856 on your tab."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Ostrich Bar

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

Inappropriate horse whispering.

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

"I'm not whining."

"Blueprints for Irish theme pub" found at the end of a rainbow

Weather bar

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

'If that's my wife, you're not in!...'

'Propping up the bar again tonight, Sybil?'

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'