Bar Storyteller T-Shirts

"O.K., Let's try this scenario..."

'Wild Joe Walsh shot Johnnie 'The Undertaker' Jones at that very table - oh yes - we take our dominoes real seriously in this pub...'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"What other tricks does he need?"

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'I told you. . . H not S!'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"Have you ever known anyone famous?" "I have." "I've always been great friends with Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." "What? That's you." "Carry yourself like everyone knows you, and everyone you meet will feel like they should know you." "Hey, you all over there! You know me!" "You don't carry things with your mouth."

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

"Actually, I don't know anybody here. I was just passing the house when I heard all the fun."

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

'What a twist of fate!'

'I was warned about online dating.'

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

"I didn't exactly win it."

'I was in one of them tooth for a tooth squabbles.'

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

'Perhaps this graph will help you appreciate the jagged mountain range I climbed on my vacation.'

"Me, I eat mostly roadkill: it saves me countess hours of hunting and stalking and leaves me time to concentrate on my art. . ."

'I'd like a brandy please...'

Larry, working on the great American stick-up note.

"I've stopped looking for work, which, I believe, helps the economic numbers."

'It's a rags-to- riches story. You should take the company tour.'