Bar Raconteur T-Shirts

'Sure, the term 'lab rat' has a lot of negative connotations but having drugs tested on you isn't so bad if you're a hypochondriac...'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"I recommend number five if you have only $20 so that you can still leave a tip."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'Are you blind ref?'

I'm a gangster rap fan too!

Crafty Fish.

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

"House red, sir?"

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

Road Kill Cafe.

"Sipsies?"

And that, gentlemen, is my opinion for what it's worth.

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

"He assured me the merger is nothing to worry about."

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

"Sparkling, Still, or Gushing?"

'I don't let her have her way... she does it without my permission!'

'Hi, I'm Leo. How's the food here?'

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

'Stop me when I start extolling the virtues of socialism.'

Special Euro 2020 Menu: Humble Pie

'We're out of pheasant under glass, M'sieur — is duck soup close enough?'

Crime and punishment - football.

The world's oldest braided rug

'It's a cheeky little wine!'

"Aside from Domino’s, China Palace and Lupe’s Fiesta Garden, do you have any professional references?"

'I tried letting it all hang out, and somebody stepped on it.'

"Oh, I'm not arguing. I'm just stating my opinion and ignoring everything you say."