Bar Scene Navigator T-Shirts

"It's only fair to warn you, 'trouble' is my middle name."

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

"I warned you not to play snooker with Monty."

'No ice.'

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

A Sandbar piles of sand in a bar enjoying their night out

"So, do you come here often?"

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"You want your olive?"

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

'The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you an aphrodisiac.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"I love college."

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

'Another martini please.'

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'Two large ones when you're ready please barkeeper'

'I promised my wife I was only getting one beer.'

Club insecurity.

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

"It's a jolly drinking song but I can't make it past the first few bars."