Bar Scene Navigator Gifts

"It's only fair to warn you, 'trouble' is my middle name."

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

"I warned you not to play snooker with Monty."

'No ice.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

A Sandbar piles of sand in a bar enjoying their night out

"So, do you come here often?"

"You want your olive?"

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

'The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you an aphrodisiac.'

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Two large ones when you're ready please barkeeper'

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

'Another martini please.'

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

"I love college."

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

Club insecurity.

'I promised my wife I was only getting one beer.'

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

"It's a jolly drinking song but I can't make it past the first few bars."

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."