Bar Mitzvah Planner Pillows

"My parents want me to have a bar mitzvah in Israel, but I'd rather have it in Yankee Stadium."

Santa Claus's Mail

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

Margarita

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

Conference Pears

Cinéma Vérité

North Pole twinned with Amazon

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

Meetings and Conventions - Warfare

'My dress is thirteen years old today!'

The Amazing Mr Sausage

'Well, this is definitely the last time I shake a bottle of Champagne before opening it.'

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"Now that everyone's in...how do we get the food?"

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'You add the girl after baking.'

Biodegradable helium balloons.

"As your CPA, I would recommend you count the number of eggs before you hide them."

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"Jenkins, I think you'll find the 'Any Other Business' section at the end of the agenda."

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

'Sure, I'll take a meeting - but only if you've been very, very good,'

Florist.

"Perhaps we should have postponed our downsizing operation until after the Xmas party."

Santa School.

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

'You're laying down that bottle for when Rich graduates from college? Don't you ever want to drink it?'

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

'Gentlemen, circle around on the spot several times and be seated.' - At the dog AGM

'Motion seconded!' (golfers)