Bar Game Enthusiast Pillows

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

I've seen some stupid bar promotions in my time, but this one takes the cake. Win a free drink! Guess the secret word on the bartender's backside! Soup.

A Man about to become a Human Darts board

'Hey, Mike. Come here a minute.'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"And you've had this headache since you left the pub last night?"

Quiz Night...

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Ostrich Bar

Whack A Soul.

"Do they look tired to you?"

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

Raw Piano Bar

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

Inappropriate horse whispering.

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'