Bar Critique Enthusiast Pillows

"This place was nicer before they put the open cans of dog food on the bar."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

Wine at the Bar

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"You want your olive?"

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Ostrich Bar

Frog and Princess in Bar

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

"Do they look tired to you?"

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

Raw Piano Bar

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."