Bankruptcy Banter Lover Gifts

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

Cold caller.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

The Gilmore Girls

Bob would learn the hard way that dogs are color-blind.

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Can we discuss this?"

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

'And I thought I was leaving you.'

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

'You Honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'pretty please with sugar on it.''

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

"He damaged a nerve when he pulled the thorn out. I'd have had a surefire malpractice suit if I hadn't eaten him."

News and Magazines. Budget News. I'm not worried about the debt --- it's too big to fail!

"Your computer is fine. It's your brain that has a lot of useless programs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an uninstall button."

'Not tonight, I have a headache,'

Cylinder Head

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"I just try to do my part- camembert, brie, Velveeta - Those are marketing decisions.''

Remington is filing for bankruptcy. They're going away. No they're not. The gun manufacturer is just filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy. It'll let them stay in business and weasel out of paying their creditors at the same time. Lots of businesses do it, all the time. It's the American way. Maybe I'll declare chapter 11 so I can weasel out too. Don't be foolish, the American way is for corporate citizens, not citizen-citizens.

'I've declared bankruptcy so many times my attorney refers to me as the 'universal insolvent'.'

I need advice and if you ever tall anyone I asked, you're dead. Go ahead. People aren't taking me seriously. When I insult them, they don't seem that bothered. They don't cry or run away like they used to. C'mon, you're plenty offensive. Don't patronize me you @#$% meathead. Wow. Didn't bother me a bit.

I'm told Cuthbert's been building himself quite a legal team over the holiday'

I'll tell you what, your honor: I'll agree to stop badgering the witness if she'll agree to stop undressing me with her eyes. ?

That remark you made to the waiter about the fly in your soup was hilarious! Thanks, but actually, the fly wrote that joke.