Bankruptcy Quipster Gifts

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the World Series is over before turning off my electricity?'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'He was only reaching for his powerpoint presentation pointer.'

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

'What a wonderful day to declare chapter 13!'

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

Official Seal

Repossessions

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Red Ink: "Busy as a bee, Ted, given the niche we've cut out for ourselves."

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Borrowed 200K for mime school

'He owes $30,000 for a degree in drama but right now he's not acting.'

PANIC!

"Hands up!"

'I've declared bankruptcy so many times my attorney refers to me as the 'universal insolvent'.'

'Sir, the drive-thru window is on the other side of the building.'

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

'My filing for bankruptcy.. does that mean that YOU also get fifteen-cents on the dollar?'

"We have the perfect plan for you. It's the mortgaged to the eyeballs plan."

'Sorry, we don't make loans.'

"Dad, the gorilla from the collecting agency is back!"

'Let's see, no current job, no job history, dicey credit report, congratulations Ed, you're approved!'