Banking Professional Gifts

Wall Street Crash, 1869

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'Of course we're keen to appoint more women but I'm afraid they lack two essential qualifications for a career in banking!' - 'Testicles!'

'Our charges are very reasonable-should we say a fiver for the hire of the chair you're sitting on !'

'Credit card customer of the month'

River bank: 'I didn't get the raise, but I did get a larger paycheck.'

'May I see some photo ID?'

The Listening Bank

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

British savings accounts

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Great Chinese Dynasties

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Mario Draghi

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Spot the difference.

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."