Banking Professional Pillows

Wall Street Crash, 1869

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'Of course we're keen to appoint more women but I'm afraid they lack two essential qualifications for a career in banking!' - 'Testicles!'

'Our charges are very reasonable-should we say a fiver for the hire of the chair you're sitting on !'

'Credit card customer of the month'

River bank: 'I didn't get the raise, but I did get a larger paycheck.'

'May I see some photo ID?'

The Listening Bank

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

British savings accounts

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Great Chinese Dynasties

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

Mario Draghi

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Spot the difference.

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities